My thoughts of the day.

I have to admit that I'm always trying to "discover myself". My latest revelation to and about myself is that I have in the past given up too easily on myself. This realisation, and the subsequent notes to myself to remind me, "I give up too easily. I need to stop doing this. DON'T GIVE UP." Help me to realise that I'm capable of so much more.
This realisation didn't happen over night. It's built up from my divorce in 2007, and my subsequent admission into the US Army National Guard. Completing Basic Training gave me a new sense of self and a realisation that I could "do almost anything". The new found confidence that completing Basic wasn't something I was expecting. Not only was I more sure of myself but I now had all these thoughts running through my mind as to all the possibilities life has to offer, and the roles I could play in it.
It's this realisation combined with confidence that has me looking toward the future and wondering what I'll do next. At the same time I look at the past and wonder where I would be if I had had this confidence boost and realisation years earlier. Looking back I gave up on, basketball, karate, air force cadets, and ultimately University.
Not following through on these endeavors I can say are largely in due to being in pain 24/7. This pain I had had most of my life up until I was 2 months shy of my 28th birthday. I had a minor surgery and had a pinched nerve removed from my abdomen. It was after this moment in my life that I for the first time found myself being able to think clearly.
From then on I was able to see everything with more depth. I was able to read a book and withhold the details of the text more readily than I could have ever before. See, being in constant pain my mind was always distracted. I could see and understand the relationships with the people around me. I could see how my then marriage was tearing me down and that (the tearing down) had to stop.
It seems now, 4 years later, that the events that followed happened very quickly. At the time it of course didn't feel that way. I went back to University, got divorced and completed something that before seemed out of reach, completing Army basic training. Since I've been back at Uni I've maintained A's in all my subjects. I was never able to do this before, be A student. I gave into the pain too often.

I'm not sure if I'll ever truly discover who I am. Compared with the past I do feel I'm on the right path now. I have a more positive view of the future and what it holds.